Match 5-De Beers vs Edgemead

13/05/2016

Morning Ladies

Edgemead were kind enough to facilitate a game change for us from tomorrow to Tuesday. As far as the federation is aware, the game took place tomorrow and we won 2-0. Please keep that in mind lads…

So it was an interesting night indeed as Kurt and Spike were invited for trials with Edgemead and did themselves proud they did. It started with Edgemead agreeing to change the game to Tuesday, thereby accommodating some team members who prefer to play Saturday croquet at a resort in the mountains, rather than soccer at De Beers. Each to his fancy I suppose. Nice bunch the Edgemead lads are too, as they happily made the trip from the North. To play in the evening. On our A field. In Somerset West. All 9 of them. Being the superb hosts we are, we accommodated them by providing a Snoek* braai, a beer, a goalkeeper in the form of Kurt, (and I will have none of those comments on the term “form” from the peanut gallery thank you) and Spike, who played right back for them winning my Sportsman of the day prize in so doing. I think that in the confines of Spike’s mind, he was going to have a half hour of footie and then get down to the real man’s work of roasting a rather large Snoek for the lads. Poor Spike ended up by playing a full game and looked a little ragged around the edges when he hovered around the braai, nominating everyone but Mike to time the Snoek. I suspect that the first half that only consisted of 32 minutes might’ve been the problem there. On that note, special mention must be made of Mike here as he had a good game. Fact: A ref always has a good game when the players forget he is on the pitch. Well, except for the penalty. But more of that later.

Our first goal came from a cross into the box from Almiro who had wandered out onto the left wing, simply because he felt he didn’t have enough to do in the middle. To be fair, he really played centre half, defensive attacking left wing right midfield as well as pseudo-captain-player-manager. He mentioned something about training for a 12km run. I digress. The ball came into the box where Dereck jumped at it at precisely the same time Richard Gonzo screamed “flick”. Although Dereck did flick it, those who were close to the action, are convinced that it wasn’t a flick but more like a geriatric attempt to jump 2 inches into the air. Not quite reaching the ball, it skimmed off Dereck’s head onto Richard’s outstretched leg and into the net. Almiro has asserted that Richard had no intention of scoring but was simply trying to stop himself from falling into the back of the net. Either way, it was a goal and De Beers went 1 up.

About 5 minutes later, Dereck, concerned that his goal tally was under threat, dribbled through a defender or two into the box and confronted Kurt with the ball… in the 6 yard box. Time stood still as Dereck, ball at feet, completely unhindered, gave it a good strike and managed to miss the goal completely and more surprisingly, miss Kurt as well, throwing away an ideal opportunity to notch up another to his season’s tally. The second half saw Dereck have another stand-off with Kurt but this time slotted it home. From 3 meters off the goal-line. If it wasn’t for the first-half practice shot…. In any event, it was hard to miss but one never knows with Dereck and Richard up front. Kurt, on the other hand (or on the other side as the case may be), probably had his game of the season pulling off a couple of incredible saves, one of which saw him in a pirouette on his toes and outstretched arms pushing the ball over the top. I had a vision of a tutu, a movie called Madagascar and ….. never mind. Questions were asked about how Kurt is able to keep everything out when he is playing against us and nothing out when he is playing for us. In Kurt’s defence, he has only let 1 in out of the 3 games he has played. But then so have I and so has Almiro. :-/

Dereck had another opportunity later on when the mighty midget crossed the ball from out wide onto his head. Just a side note on the mighty midget…. He spent the first half warming up by running around the field. Had that been any other player, I suspect they would’ve had to be subbed before the half was out. I digress again. It appeared that Dereck once again launched himself two inches into the air repeating the flick (read as follows-“skimming of the head”) which action attributed an assist to him in the first half. Only this time, Richard was still loitering around the centre circle. Complaining about the pitch. And his knees. Again. The ball went out at the corner flag and the result was a number of team members having a better understanding on why Dereck is thinning out on top. Meanwhile non-iron man Stuart went off complaining about Dezroy giving him a bout of Achilles tendonitis or something and took the rest of the game off. Gavin Weight-heim trundled around the middle for most of the game and complained that he was convinced his movement would be restricted in the morning. The fact that he showed incredible agility up the stairs for a beer afterwards won’t be discussed at this juncture. He too took to the sidelines shortly after Stuart. At that point, I was getting concerned that we were running out of players and may have had to ask for Spike and Kurt back to ensure a win. Fortunately, Ruben was his solid self at the back with Meestir Penguin informing all that he was extremely bored and looked forward to hosting an exciting game of croquet on the weekend. All said and done, we made hard work of the 2-0 win and I for one, am not looking forward to the return match when it is 11 of their players vs 11 of ours.

[*Snoek – Incidentally, my car still smells like a fish market on a hot Saturday afternoon. When I mentioned to my good wife that my gym clothes from that  morning were still in the boot and that I was concerned about the smell of the snoek getting into my gym clothes, she shook her head nonchalantly and said “Once, completely by accident, I happened to smell your gym clothes. I would be more concerned about the Snoek smelling like your gym clothes. :-/ ]

Our next game is on Saturday 21 May away to Old Mutual B. I look forward to the nice pitch but they do practice and will provide us with a hard game. Be sure to come down to practice on Wednesday night at 20h00. Always important to get a good result from a good side away from home. Those who haven’t paid their subs in full, remember that your next payment is overdue now. Please pay up. I don’t want to beg for money again this year!

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