Buying Grass

13/04/2016

Dear Mr Chairman

I hope you are well.

At first glance, the subject of this mail might’ve either raised a concern or left you tentatively excited. I trust it is the former.

Given the fact that our home results from last year weren’t convincing against equally skilled quinquagenarians, I have been contemplating our return to the now “D” field to host our home games where the previous Over 45’s, none any more talented it has to be said, had many convincing successes.

However, on inspecting said patch yesterday, I suspect there might be some bleating from the home team, never mind the away team, at the dangers lurking in the goalmouth. Indeed, if the keeper isn’t more than 4 foot tall, he might not be seen standing in the ditch, never mind him attempting a save and the vulnerability to possible concussion if he does risk a dive. I took the liberty of discussing the matter with Chefe Abel and we made some resolutions which would require your authorisation.

It is proposed that we loosen the sand in the ditches where there is no grass, plant some ready-to-lay grass, topping it with a layer of top soil and rounding it off with some watering on top of that. This may not seem like an agricultural secret but I speak from experience. I have had great success with this in the past in my back garden which is remarkably flourishing given that is was once a building site. I take cognisance of the fact that perhaps we are not dealing with the same size of undertaking here but being a football club of notable stature, I am sure we can be creative.  Ideally, once this is done, the goalmouths should be cordoned off to give the grass a chance to take. If possible it should be rolled with a roller but I am aware that there is a cost involved so Kurt offered to walk around the goal area to flatten the grass too. Chefe Abel also advised that this type of grass is a lot easier to come by and can be purchased on street corners (if you know what I mean), but nevertheless needs to be purchased which again, comes at a cost.

Provided this doesn’t run into thousands, I am sure that we can find some sponsors to assist here but I would need to know the costs involved. I have estimated that around 40m2 should suffice which, even at R10m2 shouldn’t be hard too hard to raise.

I look forward in anticipation to your prompt response.

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